Where I’ve Been: The Reason for My Absence
When I started this website and this blog, I had such big plans and ideas for where it would go. I was about to compete for my dream title, my advocacy campaign was going strong, and for the first time in the 8 years I’ve been in pageantry, I felt like I had found my path. It was so close. I was motivated. Determined. Then on 10th October 2025, just two short weeks before the Miss Royal UK finals, I fell in my coaching session, breaking my ankle in two places and dislocating it in the process.
I was devastated.
The moment I fell, both Beth Parr (my incredible and super supportive coach) and I knew that my Royal journey was over and there was no chance I would recover by the time the finals came around. I can’t explain the feeling, still three months later as I sit here and share my story, I am emotional. That day changed so much.
When I got to the hospital, it was clear that the break was bad. I was told that I would need surgery to fix it and that it would be likely that I would have to wait for it due to the severe swelling in my ankle. At this point I was in Coventry, which is two hours from my home. After a discussion with my family and the professionals at the hospital, we agreed that they would reset the dislocation and then I would travel home to my nearest hospital for the rest of my treatment.
I ended up being at my home hospital for 18 days and I won’t lie to any of you, it was the hardest 18 days of my life. I’ve always had a phobia of needles and hospitals in general, but this experience was worse than anything I have lived through (at least in memory) and it has left its mark.
Most people who know me and definitely those that follow my journey closely, will know that I went silent on social media. After announcing I was no longer able to compete, I backed away. I could easily say that it was because I was healing and that all my energy was going into that, but that wouldn’t be the full truth and I don’t want to give my followers a half truth. I want you to know the realities of living with a disability, especially in times like this.
So here’s the full truth… I didn’t want to pretend that I was handling the situation, but I also didn’t want to show how badly I was struggling. I didn’t have strength. I didn’t have motivation or hope. I felt lost.
Living with a disability isn’t ever easy, but we get by with what we have because we learn to adapt, but no one really prepares you for when you get such a huge setback. My entire life I have been building my strength, trying to become as independent as possible to be able to live the life that I dreamed. I was living that dream. Then it got taken away. I couldn’t walk and paired with my existing disabilities, I also couldn’t dress myself, make myself food or drinks. I couldn’t even take myself to the toilet. It felt like I had been transported back in time. Like all the work I had done in my teenage years had been erased.
It took a long time to realise that none of it mattered.
I was still me.
Needing help wasn’t something to be ashamed of.
But despite knowing that, I didn’t feel ready to come back. I wanted to be in a better head space and that wasn’t something that happened over night. It has taken a lot of work. I’ve had to confront a lot of my fears and worries, and fight against the voice in my head telling me I’m not enough. I also didn’t do it alone. I am so lucky to have the most incredible support network. My partner, Chris without whom, I wouldn’t have got through any of it. My family, who visited and continue to visit whenever they can to support us. My friends, who despite living all over the country have been checking in, texting, calling, letting me vent my feelings, and have proven why they are some of my favourite people.
My point is. Life has been hard. Recovery is painful and long. It is tough (understatement). BUT. You get through it.
Three months on, I’m still not back to my “normal”. I am still learning to walk again and the pain is still a struggle, but every day gets easier and I am getting stronger again. I’m learning to be patient with myself. A tough lesson for me to learn, as many people that know me would confirm.
I am also feeling more positive every day as the light at the end of the tunnel gets closer. I have already made my decision for my next pageant journey because no matter what, my goals remain the same. I will be the first physically disabled international titleholder. It’s just been a little delayed. I’m not giving up. I simply lost my way for a while.
I am hoping to get back to writing more frequently, but I’m taking it slow and not putting too much pressure on myself. I hope you can support me in that and I hope you can forgive me for my absence.
Thank you,
Katie
SPECIAL THANKS: To Beth Parr at Queen B Pageant Training, who has been more than a coach. If I had to fall, I’m glad that it was with you. You made me feel safe and cared for and every pageant girl who trains with you is so lucky to have you in their corner.
